Dear Time,
I miss you. I wish you were around more often and I wish I could share a lot of things with you.
I feel like you aren't around when I need you and I feel like you don't want to be a part of my life. What gives??
Sincerely,
Me
So, lately, i've been struggling. Mainly with the fact that I feel there is NO time to do anything anymore. I feel like my life has hit the fast forward button and I can't seem to slow it down. With me, when this happens, I usually get REALLY overwhelmed, stressed, depressed and frustrated which leads into panic attacks. Don't worry, I had one the other night.. so not fun. First one I've had in a LONG time.
Here's the thing.. I'm SO grateful for my life. I couldn't ask for a more patient, kind, loving husband and father to my sweet girls. I have THE BEST children ever. Yes, I'm allowed to say that. I worry about them a lot. Probably more than I should. I've been feeling WAY behind on so many things and just feel like I can't catch up. Meanwhile, I watch my little ones grow up so fast and wonder: Where did it go? Where did all the time go? Lately, Hailey has been obsessed with her scrapbooks.. which I am SO grateful for making and she wants to look at those and hear stories about her when she was a baby. While looking at them with her, I just can't believe how fast she has grown up.
With the fact that Nate is gone so much with work, auctions, church, sports, etc., i'm trying to find a way to simplify. I'm trying to get some time back that has decided to take a vacation and let the busy life take over. I'm so done with it. I really just need a break or I think i'm going to lose it. Anyone else feeling this way? I remember when I was a kid.. it seemed like the summer days just lasted FOREVER! Now I feel like I don't have time to even shower most days.. ewe. I know, sick. what can you do?
I feel sometimes that I may seem ungrateful for what my Heavenly FAther has blessed me with. As I look back and look in the present, I am SO grateful. I can't even believe how blessed I have been. I just miss time. And selfishly, I wish I had more.