Little Challenges

Over the course of Addy's life, we have come to realize some things about her personality.  She has always been a little more 'attached' than we were use to with Hailey.  Now, for most people this is normal. We though it was too, until we began to realize that deep inside this precious little girl was a heightened sence of attachment that was accompanied by fear.

Aside from being a mommy's girl, she doesn't like to be alone. She freaks out if she is the only one in a room. She won't go upstairs to find a toy or her blankie because she's afraid we'll leave her while she's gone. She gets extremely upset if I start to walk out the front door while she is still putting on her shoes. "Don't Leave Me!!!" she'll yell and then burst into tears.  Every time she goes down for a nap, she'll ask me if i'll be downstairs when she wakes up for fear that I might leave while she's asleep.  Same thing for bedtime at night. She trusts me enough to know that when she asks and I tell her where i'll be, I will stay true to my word.  She wants me to stay on the main floor at her gymnastics gym. She does NOT want me going upstairs to watch through the glass wall because there is a barrier that disconnects her from me. Even though she can see me through the glass, she can't handle it. Every Thursday morning, she asks on the way to gymnastics, "you're gonna stay downstairs at the gym, right mom?"   I can leave her with friends as long as Hailey stays with her.  She won't stay in nursery by herself. She has a fear of men as well and doesn't handle things well unless Nate or myself stay with her.

These are just a few of the many things we've noticed with her.  There is something in the look on her face or the cries that is much deeper than just being at that age, you know?


So, at her 3 year well check, I talked with her doctor about it.  He smiled and said, "I was waiting for this".  After asking what he meant by it, he said he has several notes in her file from previous visits that he was waiting for this ages well check to discuss with us.  He said he was hoping it would be the alternative issue of 'just that age' but instead he diagnosed her with some intense anxiety.  After discussing this with him for quite a long time, we came to the conclusion that it's definitely something we can't ignore.  He informed me that at this age, we need to work hard to help her learn to cope with it so it doesn't become a problem in her life.  If she doesn't get help now, it will continue to grow and get worse to the point where she will have such anxiety that she will stop eating and stop being able to go to school and things like that because she's too nervous and too scared.


I can attest to this.  I had this very problem growing up, only back then, nobody noticed those things as being something to pay attention to. I still remember the day I got to call my doctor at HOME to inform him that I ate dinner for the first time in months.  I would only have a sleepover at my cousins house because every time I tried anywhere else, I would end up calling my mom to pick me up late at night because I would freak out. I couldn't use the bathroom without leaving the door open a crack so I could hear my family and make sure they were still there and didn't leave me.  I would get sick when my friends would come over for a birthday party just because I was so anxious. I became one of those 'salad' girls on dates because I was too anxious and eating too much would make me sick. I had a re-occurring dream when I was little that lasted over the course of two years that I got kidnapped. I still remember it well.  To this day, I cannot let Nate go to bed before me, because of my deep down anxiety of being left alone. I hope with all my heart that we can do something about this because there have been times in my life where this problem with anxiety has been pure hell. I don't want that for her.

So, back to Addy. I feel for her.  I know how miserable this is and I only hope that we can do whatever we can to help her learn to cope with this so it doesn't control her life.  We've been given some ideas and some things to try and I just hope they work. This is something that she can learn to cope with but something that will never go away. 

The good news that came out of her appointment is that she's super healthy, besides the fact that she had a fever of 103 degrees that day.  She's in the 85th percentile for her height and the 50th percentile for her weight. She's in the 18th percentile for her BMI.  So, basically, she's tall, skinny and lean. I wish I could say the same for me. Fortunately, I think they got their daddy's genes. :-)


Luckily, she has a great example for an older sister.  Hopefully we can help ease her worries and get control of this before it gets control of her.